Valentine’s Day can be traced back to the first Feast of Saint Valentine in A.D. 496. Somewhere around A.D. 1400, it took on the association with love that it has today. From the 1500s to the 1700s, the tradition of lovers exchanging greeting cards (valentines) and gifts (typically candy and roses) developed. Over 500 years later, we still celebrate a largely commercialized Valentine’s Day on February 14 with chocolate, Hallmark cards, going on special dates, revealing crushes to “sweethearts,” and generally celebrating everything romantic.
But what about people who aren’t in a romantic relationship? Can we celebrate Valentine’s Day too? I’m single and satisfied to be so unless and until someone comes along who I want to spend my life with. Being single is a perfectly valid way to go through life—ask the Apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). Yet, I can’t help but feel a little left out on occasions like Valentine’s Day. Our culture places a lot of value on romantic relationships. And I’d be lying if I said I never felt like I was missing out. But I think there’s a truth within Valentine’s Day that can be celebrated regardless of relationship status.
As a celebration of love, Valentine’s Day is for everyone, especially the followers of Christ! The Bible praises marriage, especially as a picture of Christ and the church. But it also affirms the value of being single. And the commandment to love is found throughout it, not just for romantic partners. Take a look at these verses:
- “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV)
- “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13, NIV)
- “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:8, NIV)
Love is at the heart (no pun intended) of who we are and what we do—and also who God is.
Where we only have one word for love, the ancient Greeks had many—each describing not just a certain kind of feeling but a certain kind of action as well. Eros carries the meaning of romantic love, sensual attraction, and passion. This is the feeling that’s often glorified in media and typically associated with Valentine’s Day. Eros is a good and beautiful thing, but it’s far too narrow to cover the whole meaning of love. Philia is “brotherly love,” the kind of love you find in a close friendship. Storge describes the love, affection, and care between family members, like parents and children. Philautia means self-love, which can be negative (self-absorption, narcissism) or positive (self-compassion, self-esteem, self-care). Then there’s agape: unconditional love. Agape can be expressed in altruism, charity, kindness without the thought of reward, self-sacrifice, forgiveness, and other actions that seek the best for others without regard for circumstances. Considered the highest form of love, agape may be the closest description we have to God’s love.
These are simple and imperfect definitions, and there are plenty of other Greek words that seek to describe love. But the point is that love isn’t just romance. It’s gritty and beautiful, mundane and spectacular, exciting and boring, indispensable and brave. Essentially, the only reason we exist is that God loves us and wants our love in return. Yes, singles can unironically embrace Valentine’s Day. Why not celebrate love in all its forms? Today, Valentine’s Day in our culture is happily broadening to appreciate affection between family and friends as well as romance. Those of us who aren’t romantically attached can still express storge, philia, agape for whoever happens to be in our lives: family, friends, partners, coworkers, strangers, etc. We can also celebrate by remembering how God loves each one of us and worship Him as an outpouring of our own love for Him in return.
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